An Encounter with Three Teenage Girls and a Math Problem.
Of Emotions, History, Education, and Youth.
This Saturday morning, I was running errands and decided to stop for a quick brunch—a plate of steaming hot fermented lentil and rice cakes known as idlis, served with freshly made coconut chutney, spicy lentil dal, and a hot South Indian filter coffee (brewed with a filter similar to an Indian version of the moka pot).
Idlis are a beloved South Indian dish, and I found them at a small eatery built in 1948, now a heritage building that was once a Parsi home.
Parsis, meaning Persians in a local Indian language,1 are also known as Zoroastrians and are followers of the God Ahura Mazda.
They arrived in India in the 8th century from Persia, fleeing persecution, and today number around 60,000, most of whom live in Mumbai.
Their most famous figure known globally is Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen, whose family migrated to England from Zanzibar/Mumbai.
Settling into a cozy corner with a book, I enjoyed the quiet light streaming in from a nearby window, waiting for my order.
After a few minutes, a sound caught my attention: a man at the table diagonally across from me was vocally gesturing to the table beside me, where three teens sat, one of them quietly crying.
He seemed to requesting help from nearby tables to help calm the girl down.
In India, this isn’t alarming - it’s common to see such requests for help or offers of unsolicited advice by friendly strangers - perhaps, reflecting the spirit of “it takes a village to raise a child.”
The tears flowed ceaselessly on the girl’s face. But what caught my eye was that she dressed in the uniform of my old high school.
I went to high school in Hyderabad, a city founded in 1591, on the ruins of sites that archaeologists have recently traced back to the Iron Age (500 BC).
Its rich history includes being the largest princely state in British India (larger than England, Scotland and Wales combined), and the diamond and pearl capital of pre and post independence India.
Its renowned architectural buildings include 11th century forts, British resident quarters, 16th century monuments, and other British-built clubs, lovely period buildings and of course, British military barracks that are now Indian army quarters.
Churchill stayed in its twin city, just a few miles away, at a British club established in 1878 and still running today as a private club.
My high school is also celebrating its 120th year anniversary this November, having been established in 1904 by the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary.
Curious to find a fellow Rosarian in the cafe, I responded to the father’s request to help calm his daughter.
All I had to do was ask what was wrong.
Instantly, the teen came over to my table, eager for support, followed soon after by the other two girls: one, her sibling; the other, her cousin.
The crying teen was the youngest - in eighth grade - and named after the former Miss World.
She revealed the cause of her sorrow - she had ‘failed’ her ‘Maths exam.’ She began to cry again.
Now, her sister - in ninth grade - joined her in crying because she too had done poorly on her math test and her mandatory ‘local language’ elective’s test.
Their cousin - in tenth grade - was the quietly sympathetic one, providing context when their tears prevented coherent speaking.
Their father and uncle had hoped a brunch treat at the cafe would distract them, but it hadn’t worked.
Interestingly, the teen had done very well in Computer Science and previous math tests. Yet, just one test had caused so much consternation.
That’s because doing well on tests means the world to students - and sometimes to their families. 2 In this case, though, the family seemed very supportive of the girls.
Many kids take tutoring outside of school because high scores open the door to scarce, good-quality undergraduate and graduate schools that serve the middle class.
These kids were taking four hours of tutoring on top of their school hours for math, science and languages with a father and son tutoring duo.
So, my first priority was to help them separate their identity from their test scores.
It was just one test - there would be plenty more.
Once their tears dried, we laughed over high school misadventures, and the idea that no one would care about this test in twenty years.
Then, we got back to the issue at hand.
What went wrong?
Turns out, of the 47 students in the eighth-grader’s class, 19 barely made the mark, and 27 failed.
"Failing" in Indian schools means scoring below targets set by schools and standards boards.
In this case, it meant scoring below 32/80 in language classes and 35/100 in math.
Their teacher was new, and her teaching skills inadequate to the task. She also displayed a tendency to get annoyed if they asked questions to understand concepts better.
Not surprising as teachers and schools are rarely held accountable for the quality of teaching.
What about the tutor? Could he have explained the concepts better?
Well, the tutor encouraged questions (‘you can ask hundreds’) but then got angry when they did.
So they were afraid to ask him either.
The teen started crying again, recalling how she didn’t understand the concepts her teacher had failed to communicate clearly.
That took a few minutes to reorient their thinking back to learning from the experience and looking to fix the issues.
I introduced them to digital resources—free aids that help high school students learn better—like Khan Academy, Byju’s, and immersive free tools like Duolingo for learning languages.
The sad part? They had no idea these resources existed!
But, ironically, the oldest had an Instagram account!
I couldn’t resist a mini-lesson on becoming a producer rather than a consumer of social media. 😉 Catch ’em young, right?
We discussed study habits, how their day unfolded with school, homework, four-hour tutoring sessions, and how they spent their precious two hours before bed.
“We need to relax, too,” said the cousin.
So, we talked about self-study, systems, and habits like studying for 30 minutes, then taking a 10-15 minute fun break or gamifying their study habits!
We discussed how they would carry forward their habits, the importance of a growth mindset, and the focus on building strong study routines rather than obsessing over individual test scores.
At this point, I had napkins out, doodling schedules, sharing tech links; they had pens out, helping. Tears were forgotten.
Feeling inspired, they suggested I should come to their school for a motivational talk! In the older girl’s view, their entire tenth grade group of 500 students needed it ‘badly!’ (lol).
Then, a passerby overheard us and surprised me by stopping to offer advice.
“It’s called the ‘Pomodoro Technique,’” he informed us, referring to my 30:10 tip, encouraging the girls to “Google it” before leaving with a friendly wave.
Another random stranger who wanted to offer tips!
By now, they’d eaten their meal, sent to our table, and as I began to call for the check, I discovered that their family had picked up my tab—a completely unexpected gesture of thanks.
The girls rose, clutching the napkins with scribbled notes, and left smiling.
We had also shared a little secret: they agreed that many boys they know would not hesitate to throw away their scorecards, ignoring their test scores as a temporary blip, and heartily enjoy an ice cream before heading out to play soccer or cricket with their friends.
So they, too, resolved: no more tears—learn to build resilience and convert failures into future successes.
In the end, a quick pitstop turned into an opportunity to help young adults facing similar challenges: Maybe I could call it How to Study in the Age of Social Media!—and charge a dollar!
Or simply, How Not to Take Tests Too Seriously!
Explore more posts on my high school adventures:
From the Gujarati language.
It's a sad reality that in India, over 2,000 students commit suicide annually due to the pressure of academic performance and the emotional toll of poor scores. The weight of failing a test or receiving harsh feedback can push a young mind to a breaking point, sometimes triggered by a teacher’s comment, fear of peers’ reaction, or a parent’s anger. The internal struggle with self-worth is amplified by these pressures.
Fantastic! I babysit a little Indian girl whose grandparents grew up in India and attended the best schools, so education is a priority. She’s recently had trouble with math as well. She was crying and crying the other night, I’m going to copy your wonderful approach and advice Jayshree. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story!
Sounds like you were a BIG help! Good job!! Will you be allowed to go to the school to give a talk?